{"id":663,"date":"2026-06-26T16:27:17","date_gmt":"2026-06-26T16:27:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/?p=663"},"modified":"2026-06-26T21:18:30","modified_gmt":"2026-06-26T21:18:30","slug":"the-price-of-milk-vs-the-price-of-absence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/?p=663","title":{"rendered":"The Price of Milk vs. The Price of Absence"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-1 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\" data-id=\"667\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-667\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"366\" height=\"274\" data-id=\"666\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/giphy-2-1.gif\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-666\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\" data-id=\"668\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/giphy-4.gif\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-668\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"The Price of Milk vs. The Price of Absence\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/_NBCA5N9WlU?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There is a reason milk shows up so often in cultural jokes about fatherhood and family breakdown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">People say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cYour dad left to go buy milk.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cMom was flirting with the milkman.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Even modern shows like South Park have played with the old \u201cmilkman\u201d idea because milk has become a cultural symbol for the home, the child, the mother, the father, and the everyday needs of a family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But when you slow the joke down, it gets serious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A gallon of milk in Los Angeles may cost around <strong>$4\u2013$5<\/strong>, with many stores placing regular dairy milk closer to <strong>$5 a gallon<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The average child support payment may be around <strong>$441 a month<\/strong> \u2014 a national average based on commonly cited child support reporting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So the joke is not really about milk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"819\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-01_53_59-PM-1024x819.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-686\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-01_53_59-PM-1024x819.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-01_53_59-PM-300x240.png 300w, https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-01_53_59-PM-768x615.png 768w, https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-01_53_59-PM.png 1402w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is about the difference between a man casually disappearing from the household and the real monthly cost left behind for the mother and child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Milk is cheap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Absence is expensive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And perhaps what makes the joke especially cruel is that it often turns abandonment into comedy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The phrase \u201cdad went to buy milk\u201d is usually delivered as a punchline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But for many children and mothers, absence is not a joke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It can mean unpaid bills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Emotional grief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Interrupted stability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And the sudden transfer of responsibility onto one parent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A child still needs food, clothes, transportation, shelter, school supplies, medical care, emotional support, supervision, and protection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And society often expects women to maintain all of this while carrying the emotional burden quietly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The expectation can become paradoxical:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Be strong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Keep the household running.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Remain emotionally available.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maintain patience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Continue working.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Continue mothering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Continue healing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And somehow do so without appearing angry, exhausted, overwhelmed, or affected by the very absence society has already normalized enough to joke about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That does not mean every family story is identical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nor does it erase the many fathers who are deeply present and committed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But the popularity of the \u201cmilk\u201d joke reveals something uncomfortable:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Society has grown familiar enough with parental absence that it became comedy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So when society jokes that \u201cdad left to buy milk,\u201d the deeper truth is this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He may have left for something that costs <strong>$4\u2013$5<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And <strong>in some situations<\/strong>, some fathers will not even be present long enough for the joke to have context.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"819\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-01_59_22-PM-1024x819.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-688\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-01_59_22-PM-1024x819.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-01_59_22-PM-300x240.png 300w, https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-01_59_22-PM-768x615.png 768w, https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-01_59_22-PM.png 1402w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No milk run.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No dramatic exit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No story to laugh about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just absence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And for many mothers, that <strong>$4\u2013$5<\/strong> may not represent what he spent\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">it may represent what is now coming out of <strong>your own pocket<\/strong>, or in some situations, out of the <strong>$441 monthly child support average<\/strong>, money that may already be stretched trying to cover housing, food, transportation, diapers, childcare, and daily life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But the child was left needing hundreds, thousands, and eventually years of support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Support is not measured in a single payment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is measured in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In sleepless nights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In rides to appointments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In diapers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In groceries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In school supplies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In birthdays.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In emotional availability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In protection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In guidance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And in the daily labor required to help another human being grow safely into adulthood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Children do not stop needing support after infancy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Needs evolve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A baby needs feeding and physical care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A toddler needs supervision and patience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A school-aged child needs structure and stability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A teenager needs guidance, boundaries, and emotional presence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And throughout those years, someone must remain steady enough to help carry that weight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So the decision being made in moments of realization is not always simply about another adult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is often about direction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Whether or not you are willing to accept the challenge before you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or whether it is time to shift directions\u2014both physically and mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And for some women, even while choosing to continue the pregnancy and welcome the child, mental fortitude may still become necessary for future decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not every decision must be made immediately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But clarity matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because recognizing a \u201cmilk man\u201d dynamic is not merely identifying disappointment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is identifying reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And reality asks difficult questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What environment will best support peace?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What boundaries will protect emotional and financial stability?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What support systems are needed?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What patterns should continue?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And what patterns should end?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is not about panic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And it is not about shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is about honest evaluation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"819\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-02_03_43-PM-1024x819.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-691\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-02_03_43-PM-1024x819.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-02_03_43-PM-300x240.png 300w, https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-02_03_43-PM-768x615.png 768w, https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-02_03_43-PM.png 1402w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because once the honeymoon glasses have worn thin, the question becomes less about what someone promised\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">and more about what they consistently demonstrate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And sometimes strength is found in accepting the challenge ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes strength is found in shifting directions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But in either case, mental clarity, boundaries, and future-focused decision making become part of protecting yourself from living indefinitely inside <em>The Waiting Place<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because the waiting does not always begin after someone leaves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes it begins while they are still there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And sometimes the \u201cmilkman\u201d realization does not happen after birth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes women realize they have a \u201cmilk man\u201d while they <strong>are<\/strong> still pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The honeymoon glasses have worn thin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The excitement, chemistry, hope, or assumptions that once carried the relationship begin to meet reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And reality asks different questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Who shows up?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Who prepares?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Who follows through?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Who remains present when responsibility becomes inconvenient, expensive, exhausting, or no longer romantic?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For some women, pregnancy becomes the moment where affection and accountability stop looking like the same thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And this can create an especially painful kind of waiting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not always waiting for money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not always waiting for perfection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But waiting for consistency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Waiting for effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Waiting for partnership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Waiting to see whether words will become action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And in that uncertainty, some women may recognize something described years ago by Dr. Seuss in <em>The Waiting Place<\/em>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c\u2026for people just waiting\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Waiting for calls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Waiting for plans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Waiting for commitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Waiting for change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Waiting for the version of someone they hoped would appear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is why <em>The Waiting Place<\/em> matters here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because the \u201cmilk man\u201d is not always a person who disappears overnight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes the milk man is uncertainty itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes it is prolonged inconsistency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes it is the exhausting emotional labor of waiting for demonstrated responsibility that never fully arrives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And that waiting place can become emotionally heavy because pregnancy itself does not pause while people figure themselves out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The baby continues growing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Appointments continue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bills continue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The body changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The responsibilities approach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So while the \u201cdad went to buy milk\u201d joke is often told as something sudden or distant, some women experience a quieter version first:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not disappearance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But uncertainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not absence from the map.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But absence from responsibility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And sometimes that realization hurts long before anyone physically leaves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And after identifying a \u201cmilk man,\u201d there are often crossroads.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not every woman chooses the same path.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And not every path looks identical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But recognition creates decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"819\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-02_16_43-PM-1024x819.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-695\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-02_16_43-PM-1024x819.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-02_16_43-PM-300x240.png 300w, https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-02_16_43-PM-768x615.png 768w, https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/ChatGPT-Image-Jun-26-2026-02_16_43-PM.png 1402w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For women who are pregnant and beginning to recognize instability, inconsistency, or emotional absence, two paths often emerge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The first path is to spend the rest of the pregnancy preparing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Preparing to deliver a healthy, happy baby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Preparing emotionally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Preparing financially.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Preparing logistically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And preparing to establish the boundaries and support systems necessary to properly raise the child despite the obstacles a \u201cmilk man\u201d dynamic may bring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This path is not built on denial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is built on clarity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The focus shifts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">From waiting to preparation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">From chasing certainty in another adult to creating stability for the child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">From hoping responsibility will suddenly appear to intentionally building the environment the baby will need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That may mean strengthening family support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Creating financial plans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Learning parenting skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Protecting emotional energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And establishing firm expectations around access, co-parenting, accountability, and respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The second path may involve <strong>choosing not to engage in motherhood within that dynamic<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not choosing to parent inside instability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not choosing to build a family structure around inconsistency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not choosing another \u201cmilk man.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not romanticizing inconsistency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not confusing chemistry with commitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not ignoring the lessons that reality has already provided.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This path is not about bitterness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And it is not about closing the heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is about developing discernment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Standards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And a clearer understanding of what presence, reliability, and partnership actually look like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Both paths may look different on the outside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But underneath, they often point toward the same destination:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not doing another milk man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because whether a woman chooses to focus entirely on preparing for the child in front of her, <strong>or chooses not to engage in motherhood within a dynamic she believes may compromise her peace, stability, or future<\/strong>, the deeper goal remains similar:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Protect the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Protect peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Protect the self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And make decisions from clarity rather than prolonged residence inside <em>The Waiting Place<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because waiting is not a life plan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Preparation is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Boundaries are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And clarity can sometimes become the beginning of peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And no matter where you stand\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Whether you are pregnant and choosing to move forward,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or choosing not to engage in motherhood within this dynamic\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">identifying the \u201cmilk man\u201d is often the first step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because reality cannot be navigated until it is recognized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The milk man is not always loud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not always cruel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not always absent in obvious ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes the milk man is inconsistency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes it is emotional vacancy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes it is repeated uncertainty disguised as potential.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And once identified, decisions become possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For some women, that decision means choosing to mother despite the obstacles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Choosing preparation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Choosing boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Choosing to build stability around the child despite what may be lacking in another adult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And for others, that decision may mean choosing not to mother within this dynamic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Choosing not to enter parenthood under conditions they believe may compromise peace, stability, emotional wellbeing, or future goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Neither path erases difficulty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But both begin with clarity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And both move away from prolonged residence inside <em>The Waiting Place<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So remember:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The first step is identification.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The next step is decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And whatever path is chosen\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">whether choosing to mother despite the obstacles,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">or choosing not to within this particular dynamic\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">the deeper goal remains the same:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>No more milk men.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There is a reason milk shows up so often in cultural jokes about fatherhood and family breakdown. People say: \u201cYour dad left to go buy milk.\u201d Or: \u201cMom was flirting with the milkman.\u201d Even modern shows like South Park have played with the old \u201cmilkman\u201d idea because milk has become a cultural symbol for the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":678,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[179],"tags":[26,14,15,16,9,12,8,13],"class_list":["post-663","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-grey-in-between","tag-abortion-doula","tag-doula","tag-doula-la","tag-doulas-in-la","tag-doulas-of-la","tag-la-doula","tag-lala-abd","tag-los-angeles-doula"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/663","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=663"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/663\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":696,"href":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/663\/revisions\/696"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/678"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=663"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=663"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lalossandabortiondoula.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=663"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}