Empowered Choices: Reclaiming Your Reproductive Autonomy
Dear Black Woman,
Note: Let me set the stage a little bit. This message is written only for the women landing here because they are seeking abortion services — not for the general public. Something brought you here, and this message is for you.
(This isn’t focused on situations of rape and incest.).
I am currently a child-free doula, and I have chosen celibacy as part of maintaining full reproductive autonomy. I have delivered over 100 healthy, happy babies across a wide variety of circumstances, which gives me a unique perspective on the realities of reproductive choice. My experience is personal and professional — I understand the challenges that bring women to consider abortion. This message is meant to help you navigate your choices with clarity, power, and reflection.
I want less trauma for all women. What connects our womanhood is the thing that has us sharing the aisle looking for 100% cotton or heavy flow leak control once a month. It heavies my heart to know that we have a large unspoken cycle that my community needs to heal. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king — and I am not even claiming to be the one-eyed man — but I feel that something needs to be healed.
Since the mass availability of reproductive support for women in general, Black women have taken advantage of it in ways that have actually gotten them far ahead of other groups in certain ways, particularly in education and business starting. So I’m not here to say that when used correctly it cannot help advance your life, but there are some growing pains associated with it that should not have to be repeated more than once if possible. This is because of the potential damage it can do physically, and the possible effects on your future pregnancies if you choose to have children later in life. Minimizing trauma to your reproductive organs is best. This isn’t to say abortion is inherently dangerous, but too many can be.
Demographically, we, as Black women, are the number one recipients of abortion in America. That’s not a statistic meant to shame us — it’s a mirror, asking us to look deeper. It’s a call to evaluate how we engage with our bodies, our partners, and the systems around us.
If you’ve heard that Margaret Sanger (the mother of modern reproductive control/services) was a racist, I urge you to read her words yourself before forming judgment (No matter how you feel.). Margaret Sanger was born up north and didn’t start her work out of politics or prejudice — she started it out of pain. Her mother, Anne Higgins Sanger, died young after 18 pregnancies — eleven births and seven miscarriages. Watching her mother’s body and spirit wear down inspired Margaret to dedicate her life to helping women control when and how they brought life into the world. That was the root of her mission: to give women the freedom her mother never had.
Sanger’s doors today — through Planned Parenthood and other reproductive health services — offer more than abortion. They provide birth control, health screenings, reproductive education, and preventive care. Many of us rely on these services, and that’s okay. But if we’re going to use them, let’s do it from a place of knowledge, strength, and choice — not confusion or conflict.
I am currently a child-free doula. I’ve used reproductive services when needed, and when I decided I no longer wanted to rely on them, I chose celibacy. That is one of the most powerful ways to achieve absolute reproductive autonomy — ensuring no one has control over your body or your future.
Here’s my framework for empowerment:
1. Celibacy is the most effective way to prevent unwanted births.
It guarantees the outcome, is trauma-free, and gives you full control over your body.
2. Intentional sexual activity:
- Only engage with partners and at times where you feel secure and comfortable.
- If you are not ready to have children, use birth control — a reliable tool to protect your autonomy and prevent unintended pregnancy.
3. If birth control fails:
- Abortion is available.
- If you find yourself needing abortions repeatedly that are not medically necessary, evaluate the patterns:
- Are you choosing partners you feel secure with?
- Are you having sex in environments that are stable and supportive?
Repeated abortions often reflect patterns that need to be addressed to reduce trauma and protect your future.
4. If your goal is permanent child-free living or you don’t want any additional children:
- There are steps you can take to ensure you no longer have the ability to reproduce — a valid and empowering choice.
- This also applies to women who already have children but do not want more, which represents a significant portion of abortion recipients.
Abortion should never be a repeated pattern; it is a tool to navigate life’s unexpected circumstances. More importantly, each experience can guide your next steps — creating boundaries, building stability, and reducing trauma in your life.
I believe in full female autonomy. I believe in the brilliance and sacred power of women — because as Harriet Beecher Stowe said, “Women are the architects of society.”
Our strength lies in designing our own reproductive paths:
- Celibacy when it aligns with your life and peace.
- Contraception when engaging sexually in ways that are responsible and intentional.
- Abortion only as a tool, never a pattern, and always with reflection and learning.
I would hate to think we are intimately and personally engaging en masse with a system that we truly feel was intended to harm us. We live in a free country, and we have choices. My goal is to leave women feeling empowered in their choices at all times.
From a fellow member of the land of the blind,
— Talitha
📊 Abortion Rates and Ratios by Race/Ethnicity (2021)
| Race/Ethnicity | Abortion Rate (per 1,000 women aged 15–44) | Abortion Ratio (per 1,000 live births) |
|---|---|---|
| Black | 28.6 | 498 |
| White | 6.6 | 121 |
| Hispanic | 10.2 | 182 |
| Asian | 6.1 | 107 |
| Other | 6.7 | 115 |
Source: CDC Abortion Surveillance — United States, 2021
Abortion Surveillance — United States, 2021 | MMWR
🇺🇸 Maternal Mortality (Death During or After Pregnancy)
Black women are 3–4 times more likely to die from pregnancy-related causes than white women.
CDC (2023):
- Black women: ~69.9 deaths per 100,000 live births
- White women: ~26.6 deaths per 100,000 live births
- Hispanic women: ~28 deaths per 100,000 live births
⚠️ Common Pregnancy Complications Seen More Often in Black Women
- Preeclampsia and Eclampsia – dangerously high blood pressure during pregnancy.
- Preterm Birth – delivery before 37 weeks (Black women have nearly double the rate).
- Low Birth Weight Infants – more than twice as likely compared to white mothers.
- Gestational Hypertension and Diabetes – higher incidence due to stress, and diet.
- Postpartum Hemorrhage and Infection
🩺 Contributing Factors
- Higher rates of chronic health conditions (hypertension, diabetes, obesity).
- Socioeconomic stressors (housing instability, job strain, limited access to quality prenatal care).
- Environmental exposures (pollution, unsafe housing areas).
👶 Infant Outcomes
- Black infants are more than twice as likely to die before age one compared to white infants.
- Rates of stillbirth and NICU admission are also higher.
⚠️ Reproductive Health Trends
- Among all women obtaining abortions, about 43.8% have had at least one prior abortion (CDC, 2022). While race-specific repeat abortion data is not publicly reported, research suggests that Black women are disproportionately represented among women experiencing more than one abortion.
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