The Hidden Responsibility Women Carry Between Pregnancy and Possibility

“To be or not to be.” Shakespeare gives Hamlet this line at a moment when he is suspended between action and inaction, torn between suffering through the pain he feels or ending it altogether. In the play, Hamlet has just learned that his father was murdered, his mother has married the man he suspects committed the crime, and he has been charged with seeking revenge—a task that both morally repulses him and spiritually binds him. He is alone, overwhelmed, and emotionally destabilized. His famous soliloquy in Act 3, Scene 1 reveals a man standing at the crossroads between two states of existence, asking which path carries less suffering. The world watches him try to make sense of his responsibility and the consequences of either choice.

Women live with a similar kind of duality every day—not in the form of existential despair, but in a very real biological truth: at any given moment, our bodies are in one of two reproductive states—pregnant or not pregnant. There is no third category. Just like Hamlet caught between two realities, women must move through life aware of this constant biological potential. And the space in between—the long stretch of life where we are not pregnant but biologically capable of becoming pregnant—is where most of our reproductive responsibility truly lives. It is in that middle space where women set boundaries, protect their futures, plan their goals, and carry the invisible labor that society rarely acknowledges. Remaining “not pregnant” is not passive—it often requires vigilance, clarity, and unwavering self-honesty.

This is precisely why we must speak boldly and honestly before pregnancy ever enters the equation. The not-pregnant state is the clearest, calmest space for real decision-making—free from urgency, fear, or emotional overload. It is where a woman can evaluate her readiness, her resources, her relationships, her safety, and her desires with clarity. These conversations are not about fear—they are about empowerment. They give women the language and foresight they need long before they find themselves standing at their own crossroads, faced with decisions that impact their bodies, futures, and stability.

And this preventative conversation is just as essential a part of my work as guiding someone through an abortion itself. Supporting women does not begin at the moment of crisis; it begins long before, in the steady, honest, compassionate conversations that help them understand their choices and protect their autonomy. My job spans the entire arc of reproductive life—the before, the during, and the after. Empowering a woman in the not-pregnant state is as vital as supporting her through an abortion because both honor her dignity, her agency, and the responsibility she carries in that middle space between “to be” and “not to be.”

This same theme of responsibility and inner clarity appears earlier in Hamlet when Polonius gives his son Laertes parting advice before he leaves for France. In Act 1, Scene 3, he tells him, “To thine own self be true,” urging him to move through the world with integrity, intention, and alignment between his actions and his inner values. Though Polonius is often portrayed as long-winded or meddlesome, this particular line stands as one of Shakespeare’s most enduring truths: that a person must honor their inner compass before navigating anything external. And in many ways, that is the heart of reproductive responsibility as well. Whether pregnant or not pregnant, whether making plans or facing decisions, the only way for women to move through the complexities of reproductive life with strength and clarity is to remain true to themselves—true to their readiness, their boundaries, their future, and their truth.

As Always,

Talitha