Category: The Grey / In-Between
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When Men Want Children More Than Women: Promises, Responsibility, and $113.4 Billion in Unpaid Child Support
By L.A. Loss & Abortion Doula “I want a baby” can sound like a promise of a future together. For a woman considering a pregnancy, though, there is another conversation worth having: What will that person contribute when the baby is here? Research examining American fertility goals found that men were more likely than women…
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Abortion and Suicide Risk: What a California Medi-Cal Study Found
Conversations about abortion should leave room for honest questions about mental health. One frequently cited study using California Medi-Cal records reported a higher rate of suicide deaths among women who had abortions compared with women who delivered. Understanding that finding requires looking at both the numbers and the study’s limitations. What the Researchers Found Published…
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$113 Billion in Unpaid Child Support: What Raising a Child Can Cost in Los Angeles
By L.A. Loss & Abortion Doula “You can always get child support.” For a woman considering whether to continue a pregnancy, that reassurance may leave important questions unanswered. How much support would arrive? Would payments be consistent? Could she cover rent, diapers, child care, and transportation if that money did not come? A published analysis…
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Before You Call Life a Gift, Evaluate the Branch
The In Between: For the Woman Deciding Whether to Continue Her Pregnancy I was listening to an Alan Watts lecture once, and he made an observation that stuck with me. Imagine an alien arriving on Earth and trying to understand what this strange planet does. It might look around and conclude: The Earth peoples. The…
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Celibacy Is Sexier Than Abortion
There is something attractive about a woman who knows what she wants, understands what she is unwilling to risk, and can say no without negotiating against herself. A woman can desire a man and still decide that sleeping with him does not fit the future she is building. She can enjoy attention without offering access.…
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A Baby Cannot Guarantee That a Man Will Stay
By L.A. Loss & Abortion Doula “Once the baby comes, he’ll settle down.” “He wants a child, so he must be serious about you.” “Having a family will bring you closer.” These statements offer reassurance, but they promise something pregnancy cannot guarantee: a man’s commitment. A man can want a baby without being prepared to…
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The Permanence of Pregnancy
By Los Angeles Loss & Abortion Doula (This article is written for women who may be pregnant or waiting on results. Considering the option of abortion.) There are few moments in life that cannot be undone. A spoken apology may repair a relationship. A career can change. A home can be sold. Money can be…
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The Price of Milk vs. The Price of Absence
There is a reason milk shows up so often in cultural jokes about fatherhood and family breakdown. People say: “Your dad left to go buy milk.” Or: “Mom was flirting with the milkman.” Even modern shows like South Park have played with the old “milkman” idea because milk has become a cultural symbol for the…
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F#ck Like You Live in Georgia
Before you have sex with a man, ask yourself: If I became pregnant by this man, would I trust him with what comes next? Would I want to raise a child with him? Could I depend on him during a medical emergency? Would he respect my decisions? If the relationship ended tomorrow, would I still…
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Fifteen Years That Echoed
Anne Frank lived only fifteen years. Fifteen. She never reached adulthood.Never saw her diary published.Never knew her words would travel across the world. She wrote in hiding.She wrote without certainty.She wrote without knowing if anyone would ever read her pages. (She often wrote about one day wanting to be a writer) And yet she wrote…