Tag: Personal boundaries
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Celibacy Is Sexier Than Abortion
There is something attractive about a woman who knows what she wants, understands what she is unwilling to risk, and can say no without negotiating against herself. A woman can desire a man and still decide that sleeping with him does not fit the future she is building. She can enjoy attention without offering access.…
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Building a Practical Support Plan for Miscarriage Recovery at Home
By L.A. Loss & Abortion Doula “Let me know if you need anything” can be difficult to answer when you are tired, uncomfortable, or trying to understand what just happened. A simple home support plan turns that offer into something specific. Your plan does not need to cover every possibility. Focus on making food, transportation,…
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When You Feel Relief and Grief After Losing an Unplanned Pregnancy
By L.A. Loss & Abortion Doula You may not have known whether you wanted to continue the pregnancy. You may have been worried about money, your relationship, your health, or becoming a mother at this point in your life. Then you miscarried, and your feelings became more complicated rather than simpler. Relief and grief can…
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When Intimacy Feels Different After Miscarriage
By L.A. Loss & Abortion Doula After miscarriage, touch may feel comforting, unwelcome, or different from one day to the next. You may want affection while feeling anxious about sex. You may worry that a hug will be interpreted as an invitation to do more. These are conversations worth having clearly. Your partner does not…
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Preparing for Your First Prenatal Appointment After a Loss
By L.A. Loss & Abortion Doula A new positive pregnancy test may bring hope alongside memories of what happened before. Booking the first appointment can feel like a major step, even before you enter the office. Pregnancy after miscarriage can involve anxiety and mixed feelings. You do not have to feel confident or excited on…
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Before the Test
Preconception Reflection & the Wisdom of Rilke A Doula’s Guide to Listening to Your Life Before Pregnancy Begins Rainer Maria Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet is a small but powerful book composed of ten letters written between 1902 and 1908. A young aspiring poet named Franz Kappus had reached out to Rilke for guidance,…
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To Be or Not to Be… Pregnant?
The Hidden Responsibility Women Carry Between Pregnancy and Possibility “To be or not to be.” Shakespeare gives Hamlet this line at a moment when he is suspended between action and inaction, torn between suffering through the pain he feels or ending it altogether. In the play, Hamlet has just learned that his father was murdered,…
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Reclaiming Your Reproductive Autonomy
Empowered Choices: Reclaiming Your Reproductive Autonomy Dear Black Woman, Note: Let me set the stage a little bit. This message is written only for the women landing here because they are seeking abortion services — not for the general public. Something brought you here, and this message is for you. (This isn’t focused on situations…
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Facing Your Due Date After a Pregnancy Loss
By L.A. Loss & Abortion Doula A due date can remain on your mind long after the pregnancy has ended. It may be written in a calendar, attached to a season, or connected to plans you had begun to make. You may want to mark it. You may want an ordinary day. You may not…